Freedom Of Thought

24 Ramadhan, 1444

Got to the gym after breaking the fast, as I also managed to do on Wednesday. So far I've made it on seven occasions in Ramadhan, which I reckon is a pretty good count, and I've felt fine each time. I've even considered seeing what it might be like to work out just before buka, but I'm wary of the risk of possible dehydration.

On both of my trips this week I've felt very comfortable doing my fifty minutes on the elliptical trainer, to the extent that each time I've become lost in my thoughts for the final thirty minutes and 'escaped' focusing on the machine and keeping going. Tonight I was caught up in a rant about the need to teach texts with a genuine sense of engagement with the emotional heft of the material - fortunately my audience was purely imaginary, so no one had to suffer my outpouring.

Must say though, I'm a wee bit wary of bringing on some kind of electrical storm in the old grey matter. On my last visit to my neurologist at NUH the doc strongly recommended keeping up some kind of medication to protect against epileptic seizures (such seizures being what had had such a devastating impact on me in late August last year, resulting in the unpleasant interruption to my life experienced back then.) Despite my happy sense of general well-being and considerable confidence with regard to my mental faculties, I've been quite happy to pop the couple of pills a day he prescribed, but am maintaining a watchful self-awareness when it comes to monitoring my thinking. I've always been prone to periods of quite unintentionally intense cerebration, if that makes sense to you, and I remember being easily able to lose myself in my thoughts just ahead of the attack I suffered.

Also must say, it feels a bit odd to be labelled 'epileptic' ('labelled' being the word used by the doc) since, as far as I'm aware, I didn't suffer anything like the convulsive fits one usually associates with the term, but it's been fascinating to find out about the sheer range of behaviour covered by the word. 

And also, also must say, it's been a gratifying relief to have recovered enough from last year's set-back to be able to handle the demands of the Holy Month. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I can't recall feeling quite this chipper in any previous fasting month. God willing, this keeps up, eh?