Slipping Up

It's sciatica. You've got a slipped disc You'll need an operation. Oddly I honestly didn't expect the doctor's diagnosis to be as bleak as this, despite my familiarity with sciatica, discs that slip and the surgeon's knife in the back. I'm not entirely sure it was quite so bleak - there may have been a couple of 'probably's in there, and this wasn't an orthopedic chappie speaking - but it felt pretty deeply melancholic at the time.

The pain has been getting steadily worse since mid-November. Whenever I went walking in Manchester the less-than-dignified sensation of having a buttock in spasm convinced me I'd pulled a hamstring muscle and the cold was making it worse. Since starting work, in a hot climate, the spreading of the pain to my lower leg made me realise I had to get to see a doctor, yet failed to ring the alarm bells regarding what might be going on in my back. I suppose this was because I haven't got the slightest sense of discomfort actually in my lower back, but equally I guess I was in spectacular denial.

Anyway my target now is to survive a week of work and get to an expert next Saturday and see where we go from there. Fortunately I'm still on my feet and usually able to handle the discomfort of being upright long enough to negotiate the day. However, the steadily advancing increments of disability do make me wonder if some kind of catastrophic state is just around the corner. I've been there before, though a long, long time ago, so I'm all too aware of the possibility.

In the meantime, the fact that there are lots of folk a lot worse off than I am doesn't so much offer comfort as a healthy dose of perspective.