Not Exactly Organised

I've been looking back over my journal from 15 years ago this evening, and have found myself reminded of a somewhat difficult time in my life with regard to work. I'd just started work at a new school and found the environment invigorating but distinctly challenging. In retrospect it was the right move at the right time, but it didn't quite feel like that in the early February of that year.

For some reason I'd been thinking in broad terms of organisations and what they do to the people within them (particularly Yours Truly) and on 8 February, 2004 this is what I wrote:

Woke up thinking about my general attitudes to work in a broad but practical philosophical sense. Some snippets: I can divide my notions of faults in the organisations in which I work into 2 levels - those that are accidental to the situation & may be usefully addressed (glitches, if you like) - those that stem from the organisational culture and which are extremely difficult to get any movement on (SEM, Wits, ESSS, assessment of teachers, the idea of quantifiable targets.) Dealing with the latter is energy sapping, time-consuming and often fruitless. I do not wish to spend my limited time in this way and since my colleagues do not make this effort there is no reason I should.

Although interested in organisations and how they work, in connection with my general interest in human behaviour, I am quite sure I haven't the kind of personality suited to organisations. This is not a put-down of those who enjoy working in organisations - we need such people to keep those aspects of our society dependent upon organisations working, even if this working is not at optimal levels. However, it is pointless to attempt to make appeals to me from an organisational perspective. I reject the very bases of these.

Many of my colleagues are stretched to the maximum, but the school, like almost any other organisation, overrides consideration of the individual and puts its aims first. As a result it will burn out the very people vital to its running. This cannot be good for the organisation in the long run. I believe this is linked to the significant attrition rate for teachers in Singapore. In personal terms my quality of life is suffering at present (as it has suffered in the past.)

It felt refreshing to read this years later. I find myself in agreement with my younger self. In fact, I'd venture to suggest I might have contributed more to organisational change by not actually trying to do so than those days when I felt I should devote some reasonable energy to trying to improve things for the good of all.