Corrosion

Had a conversation, a brief one, the other day with a young man who clearly felt bitter and betrayed, and I think I understood why. I felt helpless throughout, helpless in the sense that I was unable to help him deal with his feelings. But at the same time I was impressed to some degree by a sense that he was dealing with them himself.

I wanted to tell him that life isn't fair and there's no particular reason why it should be and that's an extremely useful thing to experience; and also extremely painful. I wanted to tell him that failing at something and being failed by others when you know you might have succeeded isn't the end of anything but can be the beginning of something; but there's no guarantee of what that something will be. But I didn't say these things because it seemed to me that you either know them or you don't, and it would have been patronising to assume he didn't.

I think there's a time, sooner or later, when necessarily it all eats away at you. Sometimes it's good to get there sooner, even if what lies beneath that bright shining surface isn't terribly attractive. But this is the kind of knowledge that brings little, if any, forgiveness.