Finding Strength

Noi and I followed the voluntary fast for Hari Raya Haji today. She, as ever, took it in her stride. I struggled.

It isn't that I developed a terrible headache or anything of that nature. The problem was that I kept forgetting I was fasting whilst at work and on at least five occasions found myself relishing the thought of the cup of tea I intended to imbibe when I got back to my desk only to have to remind myself that that was just not about to happen. The sense of being let-down was considerable each and every time.

Yet, as always, the experience felt like a deeply useful one. Immediately following each let-down came that odd sense of assurance that I'd be able to cope - a reminder of a strange sort of unexpected strength. Almost empowering in its way, as if an awareness of vulnerability allowed the discovery of something not quite as fragile as one might have assumed.