Last Words

Noi's father, our dear Abah, left this world in the early hours of the morning. We were not entirely unprepared - he'd been taken to hospital yesterday with low blood pressure and even then at one point his heart had stopped beating - but you can never be prepared for something so final. Noi left for Melaka straight away, but I'm stuck here until Friday as my duties precluded getting away at night, as we needed to do to get to Alor Gajah in time for the burial, which took place before the Zuhor prayer.

He was a funny, charming, kind man, and so generous to accept me as a highly unusual son-in-law (from his perspective.) It was easy to love him.

Our conversations never quite managed depth - his broken English and my even more broken Malay, didn't allow for that - but I like to think they achieved an understanding beyond mere depth. My last words to him were uttered just last Sunday afternoon as I bade him farewell. I said, as I usually did, Salamat Tinggal, which very roughly translates as Peace on your staying, or Be safe here. Normally he would reply Salamat Jalan, which, again, very roughly means Peace on your way, or Safe journey. But I don't think he did on Sunday, when his voice was unusally soft. He'd been very quiet all weekend, in fact, though when we arrived and Noi asked him if he knew who I was he replied Ibrahim Connor! reasonably confidently. (That's most of my Islamic name, by the way.) It felt good he'd remembered.

So now my final unspoken words to Abah, according to our formula, are Salamat Jalan - have a safe and peaceful journey, to that place where all names are remembered.