Dressing Up

Noi likes to draw attention to groups of people, especially teenagers, who are obviously out visiting in the post-Raya season. How does she know that's what they're doing? Because they are, almost to a man, or woman, wearing traditional Malay garb. Although she doesn't actually say so, I know she takes pride in the fact that Malays seem to embrace the visible aspects of their culture at this time, even though such aspects may seem, to some degree, in conflict with the broader culture. She'll also generally point out that this is not something you see the Chinese here doing (dressing traditionally, I think she means.) I don't think she means this as a slur - rather, she is genuinely puzzled regarding the lack of what she sees as a sense of identity.

We saw a nice example of this on Friday when we were out doing the rounds ourselves. On the way up to our third port of call we passed a group of youngsters, in their late-teens I'd have said, sitting around a table at a void deck. There was a roughly equal mix of boys and girls, and each was dressed to the nines. Ironically it turned out they were on their way to the same address as ourselves, being friends of the youngsters of the family we were visiting. I couldn't help but think of the almost-impossibility of seeing kids of the same age in England who would conform so readily to the customs of their parents and take such obvious pleasure in dressing in a way that was at such odds with what would normally be regarded as fashionable. At the same time I got the sense that they were appropriating the traditions for their own ends, enjoying being in the group, making a show of visiting their friends independently of their families, making their outfits look good due to their casual, youthful grace. It also struck me that passing a group of teenagers out on the streets at that time of night in Manchester would have made me a little uneasy, and certainly watchful. These kids, in contrast, ended up happily salaaming me, and all the other elders, in a show of respect.

There's a lot to be said for built-in structures of respect & deference, structures demanding these be shown to elders. Such structures can bind people in very healthy, productive ways and need not necessarily weigh us down.