Being Here

As the year stumbles to its conclusion, I stumble to my own conclusion that it's good to be here. Something not to be taken for granted. And something that looked, frankly, unlikely, when the first tentative steps for the renewal of my employment pass were made back in July.

To cut a long story short - which Mum always said she would do and never did - we spent late July, August, September, October and early November in a state of dire uncertainty as to whether the government of this Far Place would countenance my further employment in their nation in 2024. In fact, I was turned down for an employment pass in November - but was given an S Pass (the sort of next best thing) for one year just before the end of the school year.

So, lucky. Very. And here. For now, anyway.

Seeking To Connect

Early in the month I was moaning about not being able to get into Lowell's sonnets from 1973's History. Well I kept at it and have now reached roughly the halfway point of the book (which is very long at something like 200 pages) and I'm still not all that comfortable with what Lowell is doing here. I can't recall a single poem that seemed to me entirely successful despite occasional lines flaring into life. Once or twice whole sections have worked for me, as in a couple of the sonnets relating to Rimbaud, but this has been atypical of my reading. 

So why am I keeping going? I keep asking myself that, and I think I've figured out an answer that goes beyond sheer bloody-mindedness, even though there's an element of that going on.

The thing is that I know Lowell is a great poet from his earlier books. I felt tuned in to almost everything in Life Studies, For the Union Dead and Near the Ocean. So assiduously reading the sonnets is my way of honouring that greatness, an act of something like gratitude. Also I'm hoping that I'm going to come across something that explodes in my consciousness as did Waking Early Sunday Morning. That would make it all worth it.

In Luck

A day of meetings. Wore my lucky socks and nothing went wrong. Just saying.

(Mind you, nothing went particularly right either. So the jury remains out on this one.)

On Task

Now gearing up for the start of the teaching year on 2 January. Suddenly my inbox is full to overflowing, a timely reminder of how busy I'm soon to be. A bit of a shock, even though it's the same shock every year - but good to awaken from the end-of-year lethargy.

And since this might possibly be my final year of teaching there's a sort of added piquancy involved in doing the usual as it might not be so usual in future.

On Hold

On the way back to Melaka soon. Couldn't get much done about the messed-up floor in our brief visit, but made some arrangements for getting things fixed when we can come up here for a few days next year. Most likely early March. Looking on the bright side, at least there's been no major further damage since the problem first emerged. And there are worse places in the world to be.

First world problems, eh?

On The Mend

We drove up to KL today basically to check on the house and try and attend to the problem of the popping tiles in the living room. Odd to think of a headache connected with a floor hanging over one, but that's the way it is. Good news: the problem doesn't look much worse. Bad news: it won't correct itself and we need to figure out what exactly to do. We should be seeing Ah Seng tomorrow and, with luck, he'll let us know of a solution; and, with more luck, the solution won't be overly expensive.

It's never easy, is it? But you knew that already.

Wishing

When I was a kid I genuinely believed that somehow peace mysteriously descended upon the earth on Christmas Day. Wish I still did. 

Keeping things positive in a time when the news of various conflicts evokes a sense of desolation, it's been good to see some fresh posts over at On An Overgrown Path in recent days. I always find something new to learn and to listen to. The one asking Do they know it's Christmas? is a timely reminder that in all the troubled places there will be no winners, just far too many victims on all sides. But it manages to point to some lovely music available despite the darkness.

Wishing well to all who keep the season. And the same to those who don't.

Passing The Test

I completely forgot that I needed to take the annual cyber security test set by my employers, until this morning. Having remembered I surprised myself by actually getting down to the job this evening rather than putting it off to 31 December (the deadline.)

I further surprised myself by passing the three sections with reasonable ease despite not understanding a fair number of the trickier questions. Of course, it helps that you are allowed multiple attempts and that most answers can be figured out by applying a strong dose of common sense. Let's face it, in the real world common sense is what everyone needs to fall back on with regard to IT systems (or any so-called system, for that matter.)

In fact, now I think of it I suppose I must be reasonably sensible with regard to cyber security concerns since I've somehow managed to avoid getting into trouble over this stuff for quite a few years. Hope this streak of good fortune lasts for at least another year - though I'm not exactly counting on that given the number of attempts I needed to get some of the answers right just now.

In Need

The helper here in Melaka urgently needs to get back to Indonesia for an operation on a swollen thyroid. Unfortunately the terms of her employment here appear to be riven with uncertainty such that it's not at all clear when she'll actually be able to go and whether she'll be able to come back to a job that I think she's happy in and helps her make sense of her life.

It's always a bit frightening to think of our vulnerabilities, no matter how well-placed in the world we appear to be. But to be in a position in which it's so easy to lose almost everything in a way that seems cruelly casual must be deeply destabilising.

Onwards

12.45

We'll be setting off for Melaka later today when I've cleared what needs to be done at work. Since there's lots of talk of late about jams into and out of Malaysia we're mentally prepared for what might turn out to be something of an ordeal. More later. Perhaps.

02.15 (Saturday)

A bit of an ordeal, I'm afraid. But good to be here. And good to have enjoyed an excellent concert by some students in the afternoon before setting off. A reminder of what makes the trickier bits of life worthwhile.