Lighting Up

28 Ramadhan, 1443

We left putting up the twinkling lights a little late this year. But they are now in place and we're happy to get that bit closer to a fitting conclusion to our fasting. Gentle preparation for the gentle celebrations to come. 

Highly Productive

27 Ramadhan, 1443

One member of our little household has been churning out Raya delights over the last few days on an epic scale. Evidence above. (Cakes in the boxes, by the way.) I envy those who'll be munching on all the goodies, but since I'll be amongst the number the envy doesn't strike all that deep.

At A Distance

26 Ramadhan, 1443

According to a message I got from Cheryl last weekend, the funeral for John was held this morning. She'd intended to tell her mum about it on Monday, but I'm not sure how that worked out. The possibility of Maureen being devastated by all this is very real, I'm afraid. I'm reluctant to trouble Cheryl too much by messaging her for an update, given the fact she's likely to be the key person dealing with all the on-going concerns. And, yes, I feel more than a small degree of guilt over not being around and able to help.

Now thinking of John and how deeply helpful he was in dealing with Mum, again at a time when I wasn't there to do the necessary. Like the rest of us, John was less than perfect. But it's good to remember the times when he listened to the guidance of his good angel - more often than some gave him credit for.

Not Standing Still

25 Ramadhan, 1443

Still moving forward through the great ocean of time, as I was reminded more than once today. As are we all. Lucky to have the chance to swim. As are we all. 

All Steamed Up

24 Ramadhan, 1443

In recent times the Missus has taken to producing a number of cakes towards the end of the fasting month which require steaming. She earns a fair few dollars by selling these to a discerning public, making the activity doubly productive, as it were. Must say, I appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit which goes some way to offset the mild discomfort of treading on slightly damp floors and inhabiting a somewhat over-heated apartment for the few days of steaming. But the thing is, the procedure has somehow become part of the spirit of the later days of the month for me, creating a sort of damp expectation.

And slipping away from it all into an air-conditioned bedroom adds to the curious satisfaction of it all.

In Moderation

23 Ramadhan, 1443

A week of fasting left. I have a childish habit of striking off each day thinking (as I will tomorrow), This is the last Tuesday on which I'll be fasting this year. Not terribly edifying, but over the years I've learnt that I can't fundamentally change who I am. I can just moderate the bits that are particularly stupid. And there are plenty of those.

The funny thing is that I know that after two days of no longer fasting I'll miss doing so.

Doing The Necessary

22 Ramadhan, 1443

Went to Geylang this afternoon to pay our zakat at Darul Arqam, as is our custom. It was fairly busy in the locale and we were lucky to get a parking lot right on the road outside the Darul Arqam building with relative ease. It isn't quite the same as the Geylang of old in terms of bustling crowds in the fasting month, but it's getting there. Indeed, there was quite a queue for payment of zakat, another welcome sign of revival.

As always the payment of our dues brought with it a sense of completing something. A salutary reminder that the fast whilst deeply significant is not an end in itself and is by no means the whole story of the month.

Without Whoomph

21 Ramadhan, 1443

I've been keeping up my reading of The Collected Poems of William Carlos Williams, Volume II: 1939 - 1962 and have arrived at 1960. The sheer range of Williams is startling. Towards the end he was still experimenting, adopting new verse forms and new voices. 

But there are also signs of declining energy, I think, especially in the various translations. I wonder how far he did these to get away from himself and the depression that disfigured his later years, especially after his strokes. I was startled to find out that a number of translations from the Chinese I thought were solely by WCW were, in fact, essentially the work of one David Wang, who sounds a fascinating figure in himself. It seems he died mysteriously, in his late forties. I'd feel inclined to do a bit of research on him, except for my own lack of the necessary whoomph. 

Thinking Ahead

20 Ramadhan, 1443

I'm not quite sure what got me thinking about it, but I spent a couple of minutes today contemplating how good it will feel to be back in the SAC at work enjoying a cuppa whilst gazing out of the window and thinking of not very much. I say I was contemplating but it would be truer to say I was visualising the scene with considerable intensity. But here's the funny thing: I was doing so without any desire to actually go down for the cuppa at that point in time. I was perfectly happy to locate my fantasy in the future and happy to wait for it to materialise.

There's deep comfort in knowing that simple good things come easily to hand in my life and being temporarily deprived of them is just a way to be reminded of just how deeply good they are.

At Ease

19 Ramadhan, 1443

My reading for the Holy Month has been severely limited in scope, I'm sorry to say. But I knew in advance this was likely to be the case and, accordingly, I had it in mind to read just one book. Actually, I should say re-read since I first read Michael Sells's Approaching The Qur'an several years ago, being very impressed with it then. And I'm happy to say that Prof Sells's commentary on the early revelations and his translation of quite a number has proved illuminating over the last twenty or so days.

His sense of the text challenging our understanding of what is real is simply yet powerfully conveyed: There is a sense of directness and intimacy, as if the hearer were being asked repeatedly a simple question: what will be of value at the end of a human life? When I read those words I recognised my own experience. Yes, when I first encountered these suras (in translation) that was exactly what I felt.

His translations strive for a similar noble simplicity. And reading them in an unhurried manner has helped me to grasp the power of that simplicity. In Sura 94, for example, the repetition: After the hard time / there is the easing / After the hard time / there is the easing, struck me as being quietly magical in its way, helping me glimpse something of the consolatory power of its mighty original.

Sometimes it's best not to try too hard.