26 Ramadhan, 1440
The day was always going to be an anti-climax after the annual exchange of cards which marked its real beginning. How splendid to begin with a reminder of the one thing I know I got right in my long and winding history. How fine it is to be able to rely upon that firmness that makes my circle just.
Friday, May 31, 2019
Thursday, May 30, 2019
Oxymoronical
25 Ramadhan, 1440
Just been marking an essay from May's IB examination session in which a candidate describes two novels as boringly interesting. Spent a minute or so trying to figure out the implications of this happy phrase. I reckon the poor kid had to put up with a teacher insisting that the books the kid felt had been specifically designed to torture him or her were interesting. That must have felt like the turn of the screw. But what an elegant revenge!
Just been marking an essay from May's IB examination session in which a candidate describes two novels as boringly interesting. Spent a minute or so trying to figure out the implications of this happy phrase. I reckon the poor kid had to put up with a teacher insisting that the books the kid felt had been specifically designed to torture him or her were interesting. That must have felt like the turn of the screw. But what an elegant revenge!
Wednesday, May 29, 2019
Not So Much
24 Ramadhan, 1440
Weighed myself earlier this evening and discovered I'm now some 2 - 3 kgs lighter than what I'd regard as my fighting weight. Mind you, this was towards the end of a day of fasting, so I doubt this reflects my 'real' weight at this point in time. But having said that, going off previous experience I'm likely to shed a bit more in the final week of fasting. Since I'm already lighter than I was when I was 17 this seems to imply a new version of my adult self.
Mind you, the biscuits for Raya are accumulating in the background so a return to the volume of my old self is definitely on the cards for June. In the meantime I suppose I should get on with enjoying a newfound lightness of being.
Weighed myself earlier this evening and discovered I'm now some 2 - 3 kgs lighter than what I'd regard as my fighting weight. Mind you, this was towards the end of a day of fasting, so I doubt this reflects my 'real' weight at this point in time. But having said that, going off previous experience I'm likely to shed a bit more in the final week of fasting. Since I'm already lighter than I was when I was 17 this seems to imply a new version of my adult self.
Mind you, the biscuits for Raya are accumulating in the background so a return to the volume of my old self is definitely on the cards for June. In the meantime I suppose I should get on with enjoying a newfound lightness of being.
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Familiarity
23 Ramadhan, 1440
At sahur I drink a mug of milo and a glass of water. No more; no less. Years of experience of doing so have informed me that the fluid taken on board will get me through the day. It's one of the few things I know for sure about myself in that it's worked for me so far.
So much else about myself remains a mystery, which fasting won't solve, but may, possibly, shed some small light on.
At sahur I drink a mug of milo and a glass of water. No more; no less. Years of experience of doing so have informed me that the fluid taken on board will get me through the day. It's one of the few things I know for sure about myself in that it's worked for me so far.
So much else about myself remains a mystery, which fasting won't solve, but may, possibly, shed some small light on.
Monday, May 27, 2019
Dragging On
22 Ramadhan, 1440
In the tougher moments of fasting you can start to think the process does seem to drag on a bit, especially when you hit the final third of the month. However, a certain consolation is to be gained from remembering just how long the Brexit process, if that's what it can fairly be termed, has dragged on whilst offering no comparable rewards.
Noi was genuinely perplexed the other evening when I explained to her that nothing whatsoever had been resolved with regard to the UK's position re Europe. She was rightly astounded having vaguely assumed that, since she'd not been hearing so much about it when we didn't leave in March/April, despite the stated deadlines, that it was sort of all over. No it's not, I'm afraid.
But fasting will reach a rewarding conclusion, God willing, in a bit more than a week, which is part of the point of the experience. It's something definite, with a shape and an outcome - one genuinely worth waiting for.
In the tougher moments of fasting you can start to think the process does seem to drag on a bit, especially when you hit the final third of the month. However, a certain consolation is to be gained from remembering just how long the Brexit process, if that's what it can fairly be termed, has dragged on whilst offering no comparable rewards.
Noi was genuinely perplexed the other evening when I explained to her that nothing whatsoever had been resolved with regard to the UK's position re Europe. She was rightly astounded having vaguely assumed that, since she'd not been hearing so much about it when we didn't leave in March/April, despite the stated deadlines, that it was sort of all over. No it's not, I'm afraid.
But fasting will reach a rewarding conclusion, God willing, in a bit more than a week, which is part of the point of the experience. It's something definite, with a shape and an outcome - one genuinely worth waiting for.
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Not So Great Expectations
21 Ramadhan, 1440
Felt a fair few aches and pains today and needed the assistance of a chair for the early sets of prayers. I suppose this is related to yesterday's exercise, but I can't say I regret keeping myself moving. Indeed, that's how I tried to cope with the aforementioned aches in the course of the day and I'm happy to report they didn't turn out to be overly debilitating. Mind you, I'm looking at a very busy week ahead and I'm not so sure I won't be struggling through tomorrow. But I never expected this Ramadhan to be easy, and certainly those expectations have been fulfilled. (Though today's struggle had little or nothing to do with the actual fasting, it's worth reminding myself.)
Felt a fair few aches and pains today and needed the assistance of a chair for the early sets of prayers. I suppose this is related to yesterday's exercise, but I can't say I regret keeping myself moving. Indeed, that's how I tried to cope with the aforementioned aches in the course of the day and I'm happy to report they didn't turn out to be overly debilitating. Mind you, I'm looking at a very busy week ahead and I'm not so sure I won't be struggling through tomorrow. But I never expected this Ramadhan to be easy, and certainly those expectations have been fulfilled. (Though today's struggle had little or nothing to do with the actual fasting, it's worth reminding myself.)
Saturday, May 25, 2019
Hauntings
20 Ramadhan, 1440
I read an article the other day in which the writer was talking about feeling the need to eat a tub of ice cream whilst binge-watching Game of Thrones. I found it difficult to relate to the idea, I must say. As far as I can remember I've never eaten a whole tub of ice cream and I've certainly never watched an entire episode of the programme in question.
But I did wake up today (for the second time, after going back to bed following the Dawn Prayer) with a very distinct desire to drink a cup of tea before starting work for the day. The feeling lasted all of thirty seconds and faded. And just before going to the gym this evening I recall thinking that I didn't feel in much of a mood to do so, a thought that faded almost as soon as it manifested.
At one time I believed that desires similar to those above would extinguish themselves with time, become entirely unreal. I don't think that now. They are still there, but unless we actively feed them they become much less real, they seem to belong less to us. I'm guessing that the poor guy haunted by ice cream has never quite found that out, unfortunately for him. It's a deeply useful discovery to make.
I read an article the other day in which the writer was talking about feeling the need to eat a tub of ice cream whilst binge-watching Game of Thrones. I found it difficult to relate to the idea, I must say. As far as I can remember I've never eaten a whole tub of ice cream and I've certainly never watched an entire episode of the programme in question.
But I did wake up today (for the second time, after going back to bed following the Dawn Prayer) with a very distinct desire to drink a cup of tea before starting work for the day. The feeling lasted all of thirty seconds and faded. And just before going to the gym this evening I recall thinking that I didn't feel in much of a mood to do so, a thought that faded almost as soon as it manifested.
At one time I believed that desires similar to those above would extinguish themselves with time, become entirely unreal. I don't think that now. They are still there, but unless we actively feed them they become much less real, they seem to belong less to us. I'm guessing that the poor guy haunted by ice cream has never quite found that out, unfortunately for him. It's a deeply useful discovery to make.
Friday, May 24, 2019
Mything Out
19 Ramadhan, 1440
I wasn't optimistic about getting much reading done in this fasting month, and rightly so. I reckoned I was likely to be busy to the point of being overwhelmed by the usual stuff of work and that has proved to be the case. So I didn't plan any Islamic-themed reading. But I have felt a lack in that area such that I'm thinking of making a definite effort to compensate when I get some time off in June.
Another factor in my deliberate lack of planning has been the extremely slow progress I've been making on my 'ordinary' reading. Essentially this has been focused on Joseph Campbell's Creative Mythology, the final volume in his Masks of God sequence. I felt that to put this to one side would prove disastrous in terms of forward momentum and so have been soldiering on in little bits and pieces. I suppose that Campbell's concerns with what might broadly be termed the spiritual element of our experience lends some connection to the concerns of the holy month, but these are tenuous at best.
The problem I'm finding with Campbell's work is a kind of deadening repetitiveness. He's good on Joyce, Mann and Wagner, but the frequent rehashes of Arthurian legend are not doing a lot for me. I had quite enough of that with Mallory, thank you. In fact, I think I'm done with any kind of mythologizing, for now, at least.
I wasn't optimistic about getting much reading done in this fasting month, and rightly so. I reckoned I was likely to be busy to the point of being overwhelmed by the usual stuff of work and that has proved to be the case. So I didn't plan any Islamic-themed reading. But I have felt a lack in that area such that I'm thinking of making a definite effort to compensate when I get some time off in June.
Another factor in my deliberate lack of planning has been the extremely slow progress I've been making on my 'ordinary' reading. Essentially this has been focused on Joseph Campbell's Creative Mythology, the final volume in his Masks of God sequence. I felt that to put this to one side would prove disastrous in terms of forward momentum and so have been soldiering on in little bits and pieces. I suppose that Campbell's concerns with what might broadly be termed the spiritual element of our experience lends some connection to the concerns of the holy month, but these are tenuous at best.
The problem I'm finding with Campbell's work is a kind of deadening repetitiveness. He's good on Joyce, Mann and Wagner, but the frequent rehashes of Arthurian legend are not doing a lot for me. I had quite enough of that with Mallory, thank you. In fact, I think I'm done with any kind of mythologizing, for now, at least.
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Powering Up
18 Ramadhan, 1440
Got to the gym again today, after breaking the fast. Found a bit more energy than was available to me last Sunday, on my previous visit. Not sure where it came from, but very glad to have access to it.
Now more than two decades older than when I began fasting, I find I can't take it for granted that the energy to keep going will come from somewhere. I've noticed over the last three years that the degree of listlessness I sometimes experience in Ramadhan can be quite marked even in the second half of the month, something I don't remember experiencing in quite so obvious a fashion years ago. I'm not talking about any sort of consistent feeling, just an occasional one, but strong enough to have to pay attention to. Ironically the busier I find myself at work, the better. That sense of lassitude is not a feeling I ever take to the classroom.
Got to the gym again today, after breaking the fast. Found a bit more energy than was available to me last Sunday, on my previous visit. Not sure where it came from, but very glad to have access to it.
Now more than two decades older than when I began fasting, I find I can't take it for granted that the energy to keep going will come from somewhere. I've noticed over the last three years that the degree of listlessness I sometimes experience in Ramadhan can be quite marked even in the second half of the month, something I don't remember experiencing in quite so obvious a fashion years ago. I'm not talking about any sort of consistent feeling, just an occasional one, but strong enough to have to pay attention to. Ironically the busier I find myself at work, the better. That sense of lassitude is not a feeling I ever take to the classroom.
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
Good Taste
17 Ramadhan, 1440
I'm trying to think of something, anything that tastes as good as teh tarik, as prepared by the Missus, consumed from a little flask in the couple of hours after breaking the fast, whilst performing a duty. (Hence, the flask.) And I can't.
Just saying.
I'm trying to think of something, anything that tastes as good as teh tarik, as prepared by the Missus, consumed from a little flask in the couple of hours after breaking the fast, whilst performing a duty. (Hence, the flask.) And I can't.
Just saying.
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