Not Asking For More

A couple of weeks ago I was teaching Chekov's Three Sisters to a class and found myself rhapsodizing on the stunningly modern sense of futility, disappointment and general failure therein when I became aware that there two or three (at least) thoroughly disconcerted young people in the room. It seems that my fleeting observation that such futility is what lies in store for most of us was seen as strong stuff. I don't think it helped that I radiated cheerfulness at this bracing thought. In that moment it came home to me that a mode of thought to which I have been habituated since my early teens is really quite foreign to an awful lot of other people.

I think this is why failure and disappointment are so useful to us - as glimpses of real, indeed likely, experiences to come. I don't buy into the idea that they are necessarily character forming. It's really quite easy to deal with them in the generally harmless modes in which we encounter them in the comfortable worlds most of us inhabit. But the discomfort of dealing with them helps remind us of a bigger reality in which we are no longer the centre around which all else circles.

I suspect Gordon Brown is a better man for screwing-up as PM, and I rather think he already knows that. That little resignation speech was the best thing he's said in years and the rueful half-smile when he spoke of an awareness of human frailty was the only time I've ever seen him smile naturally. It made him almost human.

And the best disappointments are those when you know you've done your best, curiously enough. They are the ones that say, well this is the human condition - and there's no option of rejecting it. So just get on with it.

No one likes to see kids disappointed. I must admit, I felt a bit guilty in my Chekov lesson. Some of our rugby guys faced defeat this week, and my wonderful drama guys had to accept not getting what they understandably wanted and had worked hard for. But playing well and doing good work can be, should be, its own reward, if you let it. And if you don't let it, then all will turn out to be futile. Even if you win.