Birdsong

29 Ramadhan, 1444

One of the benefits of doing the Dawn Prayer early, as is my wont in Ramadhan, is that it's invariably accompanied by our feathered friends tuning up at first light. A couple of days back, when we suffered the power outage, I prayed with all the windows open to ease the humidity that had built up through the long, still night, and got to hear even more detail than usual. Normally there's one very obvious repeated melody that dominates - and gets a bit monotonous if truth be told. But on that morning I became conscious of deeper textures - a whole net of sound. Entangled in blessings.

Have you not seen that God it is to whom everything in the heavens and on the earth gives praise and the birds on the wing. He knows the prayer of each, the praise of each. 

Highly Dramatic

 28 Ramadhan, 1444

Just watched the ending of the Malay drama series Bidadari (the title being a reference to a well-known old Muslim cemetery in Singapore.) Wonderful stuff. Sort of Dickensian in its way. Melodramatic in the best sense of that much maligned adjective. Perfect viewing for the fasting month. Must say a bit more about it, but now is not the time as I'm about to crash out.

Disturbed

27 Ramadhan, 1444

Was awakened by Noi at some unholy hour in the late night or early morning (around 2.00 am, I think) with the news that we'd had a complete power outage in our Hall. Wandered around for 15 minutes or so, going to various electrical riser units, to try and fix the problem - meeting with a spectacular lack of success. Found it difficult to get back to sleep, especially with no air-conditioning, and had to contend with stumbling around in the semi-darkness at sahur time plus a cold shower before setting off to work.

Thought I was in for a very rough day, given my lack of sleep, but the day turned out only mildly rough, with several decent patches. In a small Shakespearean way I suppose I felt armed against a sea of trouble. Having said that, I now feel officially exhausted. So, over and out.

Points Of Light

26 Ramadhan, 1444

Our twinkling lights went up yesterday and increased my sense of cheer considerably.

Actually I have some nice pics of these from outside our apartment looking up, but for some reason I can't upload these to this Far Place. My failings on the tech front, or tech's failings on my front, have served to mildly irritate and massively bewilder me - but as a well-known king once said in the stage version of himself: I shall be the pattern of all patience.

(Makes me wonder how these social media influencer chappies put up with stuff going wrong for them when they post all that visually rich, multi-media material. Or maybe it just doesn't and they can do all the bells and whistle stuff without any hassle?)

Out And About

25 Ramadhan, 1444

We got ourselves down to Geylang in the late afternoon to pay our zakat at Darul Arqam & get a taste of the bazaar in the environs. Things were, as expected, different but the same.

I doubt we'll get the chance to avail ourselves of the funkiness of the bazaar there in the evening given Noi's commitments on the baking front, so that's a slight difference in our experience of the Holy Month from the usual routine. But just a taste was sufficient for this old chap.

Freedom Of Thought

24 Ramadhan, 1444

Got to the gym after breaking the fast, as I also managed to do on Wednesday. So far I've made it on seven occasions in Ramadhan, which I reckon is a pretty good count, and I've felt fine each time. I've even considered seeing what it might be like to work out just before buka, but I'm wary of the risk of possible dehydration.

On both of my trips this week I've felt very comfortable doing my fifty minutes on the elliptical trainer, to the extent that each time I've become lost in my thoughts for the final thirty minutes and 'escaped' focusing on the machine and keeping going. Tonight I was caught up in a rant about the need to teach texts with a genuine sense of engagement with the emotional heft of the material - fortunately my audience was purely imaginary, so no one had to suffer my outpouring.

Must say though, I'm a wee bit wary of bringing on some kind of electrical storm in the old grey matter. On my last visit to my neurologist at NUH the doc strongly recommended keeping up some kind of medication to protect against epileptic seizures (such seizures being what had had such a devastating impact on me in late August last year, resulting in the unpleasant interruption to my life experienced back then.) Despite my happy sense of general well-being and considerable confidence with regard to my mental faculties, I've been quite happy to pop the couple of pills a day he prescribed, but am maintaining a watchful self-awareness when it comes to monitoring my thinking. I've always been prone to periods of quite unintentionally intense cerebration, if that makes sense to you, and I remember being easily able to lose myself in my thoughts just ahead of the attack I suffered.

Also must say, it feels a bit odd to be labelled 'epileptic' ('labelled' being the word used by the doc) since, as far as I'm aware, I didn't suffer anything like the convulsive fits one usually associates with the term, but it's been fascinating to find out about the sheer range of behaviour covered by the word. 

And also, also must say, it's been a gratifying relief to have recovered enough from last year's set-back to be able to handle the demands of the Holy Month. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I can't recall feeling quite this chipper in any previous fasting month. God willing, this keeps up, eh?

Sweet Things

23 Ramadhan, 1444

A time of emptiness, but fullness to follow. The sweet after the sour. (Well, not so much sour, but distinctly dry.)

The Missus has been about her highly productive work. Evidence above.

Keeping Count

22 Ramadhan, 1444

Every year I try and lose myself in the timelessness offered by the fasting month, and every year I fail. Yes, there's one week, plus one day to go. Which means there's one more Thursday to fast (and one more Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.) Tomorrow is one of two Fridays left, which two sets of Friday Prayers whilst still fasting.

This is all very childish, but oddly satisfactory. Like counting down to Christmas Day when I was a kid.

Part of me has never grown up. And the part that has is mildly grateful for that, but still longs for just a bit more maturity. Maybe next year, eh?

Seeking Refuge

21 Ramadhan, 1444

Is prayer a mode of escape from the miseries of our fallen world? Or a means of engagement with them? As usual, I'm not really sure of the answer. But I suspect it's: Both.

On Trial

20 Ramadhan, 1444

Gosh, today was tough from the fasting point of view. Just when I was coasting along on the assumption that I'd thoroughly adjusted to the physical challenges of the Holy Month, along came a physically tough day on the heels of a yesterday that made demands, and by 11.00 am I knew I was in for a long, long day. Fortunately I didn't develop a headache, but most of the rest of the various bits of me raised various protests and the idea of just going somewhere to relax and enjoy a cuppa decided to keep making appearances in my frustrated consciousness. The fact that my afternoon concluded with five hours straight of teaching & other duties didn't help matters.

But here's the thing. Another part of me was happy to accept the trial as a necessary part of what makes fasting worthwhile. It was a test I knew I would pass, but a pertinent reminder that if I were tested to breaking point I would most likely fail and that's really worth knowing, even if more than a bit painful.