Under-achieving

28 Ramadhan 1434

As this month of struggle approaches its end I've been reflecting on the many ways in which I've fallen short of what I've been striving for. The physical aspect of the fast has been, as always, difficult but not overly so. The deeper aspects have been, as always, difficult and, in some ways, far too many ways, beyond my limited capacity. But I have a hopeful sense of that capacity having expanded ever so slightly.

The cultivation of virtue, or I might say the virtues, is hardly fashionable and often seen as deeply suspicious - usefully so, I might add. Those who parade their virtues are not to be trusted, self-deception and hypocrisy seeming integral to the human condition. But I think we've lost a kind of wisdom in failing to recognise how important it is to ourselves as individuals and as members of various communities to make the attempt, however compromised that might be, to manifest those virtues. Indeed, I think it's a useful exercise to draw up a list of what you might regard as necessary virtues.

There's a lovely one towards the end of Pullman's His Dark Materials. When I first read it I was deeply moved and glancing at it again this evening I still find it a potent recipe for the republic of heaven that we're all striving for, regardless of the particularities of our individual faiths: We have to be all those difficult things like cheerful and kind and curious and brave and patient, and we've got to study and think and work hard, all of us, in all our different worlds... says Lyra to her daemon. And she's right.